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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ways to Get Him Back

By Sara Summers

Getting back together with an ex is always difficult. Take the time to follow these few tips and you can make it a bit easier. So many people don't succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup. If you want your guy back, better read the following...

1. First and foremost, ditch the negativity. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong. Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Self-pity is destructive and won't help you at all, even in other avenues of life.

2. Learn to accept the fact that the 'way things were' is over. Nothing you can do will ever change what is past. You can't let your mind keep wandering into memories of 'how it used to be'. Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Remember that the breakup didn't just happen overnight, so don't expect to be able to patch things up in a day either.

3. Don't be obsessive. One of guys' major turnoffs are girls who seem desperate. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. Following him around like a lost puppy will only make you look pathetic, and make things harder for you.

4. Change yourself. Be someone men would desire. New clothes, makeup, hairstyle... whatever suits your fancy. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. There's nothing more attractive than the aura of confidence, and even an ex-boyfriend isn't immune to this.

5. Take your time. If you've done the four steps, your ex will try getting back in touch with you by himself. Imagine his surprise when he sees the "new" you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him. Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. Don't rush into things and the future relationship will be stronger. - 18762

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